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Shanghai Fashion Week Postpones Fall 2021 to April - WWD

Shanghai Fashion Week Postpones Fall 2021 to April - WWD


Shanghai Fashion Week Postpones Fall 2021 to April - WWD

Posted: 28 Jan 2021 06:52 PM PST

LONDON — Instead of its usual March schedule, the upcoming edition of Shanghai Fashion Week has been postponed to April 6 to 13.

According to a document from the Shanghai Fashion Week Organizing Committee sent to designers and trade fair operators, seen by WWD, the committee decided to postpone the event, which had been scheduled for March 25 to April 3, to roughly two weeks later, citing hopes it would allow more brands, designers, buyers and press from around the world to travel to Shanghai safely in time.

"We will do our best to provide business opportunities and quality services to participants of Shanghai Fashion Week, and present a high-quality and productive platform for exchange and display, drive the city's economic development through collaborative innovation, and dedicate to the 100th anniversary of the Chinese Communist Party with a safe and efficient fashion event," the committee added.

A spike in locally transmitted COVID-19 cases ahead of the Chinese New Year in the city's central Huangpu District, where the fashion week Xintiandi main venue is located, has raised the alert level to medium. It means residents must provide negative nucleic acid test results within seven days to leave the area. International arrivals to Shanghai are also required to quarantine in hotel for 14 days.

Several designers based in the U.K., Hong Kong, Malaysia and Australia told WWD that since it's been over a year since they visited China due to the pandemic, they have decided to go through with quarantine and physically attend the fashion week in Shanghai, enjoy the freedom of dining at restaurants, and nights out until 3 a.m.

A number of trade fair organizers expressed concerns as the leases for their big venues were signed long ahead of the date change announcement. The concern is that they might have to look for smaller places and make last-minute changes to host all the brands if the original venues are not available throughout the new dates.

A few showroom owners added they were worried the delivery window might also get delayed in accordance with the postponement. Some designers are already seeing delays with international fabric, which could compound problems in the delivery for the fall 2021 season.

The majority of designers and organizers expressed less worry about the rising COVID-19 cases, as strict quarantine and track and testing are in place to curb the spike in locally transmitted cases. Shanghai on Friday reported seven new cases, part of 93 new cases in China, according to a government channel.

Shanghai Fashion Week said it has measures in place to protect fashion week attendees. The city successfully held a full-fledged physical fashion week in October, while the rest of the world was dealing with a severe second-wave outbreak.

Related:

Shanghai's Locally Transmitted COVID-19 Cases Dampen Spending Outlook

Shanghai Fashion Week Springs Back to Life

Playing It Safe Clashes With Creativity at Shanghai Fashion Week

24 of Jill Biden's best fashion looks over the years - Insider - INSIDER

Posted: 28 Jan 2021 08:40 AM PST

At the inaugural ball in January 2009, Biden wore a strapless red gown.

jill biden 01:2009
Biden at the inauguration ball in 2009.
Gabriel B. Tait/MCT/Tribune News Service/Getty Images

Biden attended the ball on Inauguration Day in 2009 wearing a Reem Acra satin dress with drop earrings. 

Biden attended a White House state dinner in 2012 in a white strapless gown.

jill biden 3:2012
Biden at a 2012 state dinner.
Mandel Ngan/Getty Images

The former second lady arrived at the White House in March 2012 in a simple white column gown. 

Biden turned to chartreuse again at the 2013 Kids' Inaugural Concert.

jill biden 1:2013
Biden at the 2013 Kids' Inaugural Concert.
Bennett Raglin/WireImage/Getty Images

She wore the off-the-shoulder dress with suede black boots. 

At Obama's inaugural parade in 2013, Biden wore a gray coat, white dress, and heeled boots.

jill biden 1:21:13
Biden at the 2013 inaugural parade.
Mark Wilson/Getty Images

During the second inauguration of then-President Obama, Biden wore a Lela Rose dress with a gray coat and matching boots. Her solid-colored coat was accented with a large bow in the front.

At her second inaugural ball in January 2013, Biden wore a silky blue Vera Wang gown.

jill biden inauguration ball 2013
Biden at the inauguration ball in January 2013.
Michael Kovac/WireImage

She paired her belted, draped dress with black pumps. 

During a visit to Fort Campbell US Army Base in 2014, Biden offset her blue outfit with yellow heels.

jill biden 4:23:14
Biden visiting Fort Campbell in 2014.
Jason Davis/WireImage

Biden wore a striped midi dress with a matching cardigan that was designed with a bejeweled neckline. 

For a state visit in 2015, Biden dressed in a black-and-white knitted jacquard dress and bright heels.

jill biden 9:15
Biden during a 2015 state visit with Chinese President Xi Jinping.
Mark Wilson/Getty Images

During a visit with Chinese President Xi Jinping in 2015, Biden wore a dress by Vivienne Tam, a Hong Kong-born, New York City-based designer.

The designer told South China Morning Post that Biden gave Tam creative freedom to dress her for the event. 

"At the end, she said, 'Just choose the pieces that best represent the brand and Vivienne Tam.' She really placed her trust in me, asking me to decide — and that was a fantastic feeling and experience to have," Tam said.

Tam also dressed the then-second lady for a state dinner at the White House.

Biden wore an all-black outfit at the 2016 Oscars with her daughter Ashley.

jill biden 2016 oscars
Biden at the 2016 Oscars.
George Pimentel/WireImage

Biden's red-carpet look was a draped one-shoulder dress with a bow on the shoulder.

For an appearance on a 2016 episode of NBC's "The Voice," Biden sported a leather dress.

jill biden 5:2:16
Biden and Michelle Obama during a season 10 episode of "The Voice."
NBC/Getty Images

Biden paired the shift dress with electric-blue sandals. 

Biden took the stage at the 2016 Democratic National Convention in a sleeveless white dress.

jill biden 7:27:16
Biden at the 2016 Democratic National Conventional.
Paul Morigi/WireImage

The former second lady wore a white dress with subtle stripes and matching pumps. 

She attended the 2016 USO Gala in a red dress with floral cutouts.

jill biden 10:20:16
Biden at the 2016 USO Gala.
Paul Morigi/Getty Images

Biden wore drop earrings with the bright-red gown. 

To kick off Joe Biden's presidential campaign in 2019, the now-first lady wore a chartreuse dress.

jill biden 5:18:19
The Bidens at an outdoor campaign event in 2019.
Bastiaan Slabbers/NurPhoto/Getty Images

She paired her dress with a black blazer. 

For a Memorial Day service in 2020, Biden wore a black-and-white dress with matching shoes.

jill biden 5:25:20
Joe and Jill Biden at the Delaware Memorial Bridge Veterans Memorial Park in May 2020.
Olivier Douliery/Getty Images

While commemorating Memorial Day in Delaware with her husband, Biden wore a peplum dress with white trim around the collar, skirt, and sleeves.

She paired it with Carolina Herrera heels and wore a matching black face mask.

To cast her vote in the 2020 presidential election, Biden made a statement in a purple dress and boots that contained a message.

jill biden 9:14:20
Biden wearing Stuart Weitzman "Vote" boots on September 14, 2020.
Drew Angerer/Getty Images

Biden accessorized her dress with $695 Stuart Weitzman boots that had the word "Vote" etched on the inside panel.

According to Marie Claire, only 100 pairs of the limited-edition boot were available, and 100% of the profits were donated to the nonprofit operation I am a voter

At a presidential debate in September 2020, Biden wore a forest-green dress that sent a message of sustainability.

jill biden presidential debate september 2020
Biden on stage at a presidential debate in September 2020.
Scott Olson/Getty Images

Biden wore a Gabriela Hearst dress with Valentino heels. 

The dress, called the Kelley, is made from recycled materials, which is a core part of Hearst's brand philosophy, as Refinery29 reported. Biden has worn the dress at least two other times.

She previously wore it in 2017 to the annual Save The Children Illumination Gala, and again in February 2020 during an MSNBC appearance, according to Refinery29.

While campaigning in Ohio, Biden added a pop of color to her neutral outfit with a pink blazer.

jill biden 9:30:20
Biden at a campaign tour stop in September 2020.
Alex Wong/Getty Images

Biden wore a gray dress and matching boots during a campaign stop in Cleveland, Ohio. 

Biden wore a floral dress to a drive-in campaign event in Florida in 2020.

jill biden 10:5:20
Biden at a drive-in rally in Florida in 2020.
Johnny Louis/Getty Images

Biden wore a "Vote" face mask that picked up on the purple in her dress, and she accessorized with a pair of metallic silver heels. 

When Joe Biden addressed the nation on November 7, 2020, Jill Biden wore a floral dress by a designer with a history of dressing first ladies.

jill biden 11:7:20
The Bidens in November 2020 in Wilmington, Delaware.
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

Biden made a statement in a $5,690 Oscar de la Renta dress that sold out in a matter of hours after she wore it, Insider's Samantha Grindell reported.

Oscar de la Renta has a history of dressing first ladies.

The late Dominican designer made a name for himself by dressing Jacqueline Kennedy in 1962, and he also designed pieces for Laura Bush and Michelle Obama.

Biden attended a COVID-19 memorial service in January in a purple outfit that was seen as a symbol of unity.

jill biden 1:19:21
Biden at the COVID-19 memorial in January 2021.
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Biden wore a purple wrap coat and dress from Jonathan Cohen's fall 2021 collection to the memorial hosted the evening before Inauguration Day. According to Vogue, the coat and mask were made from fabric scraps at Cohen's studio. 

As Insider's Samantha Grindell reported, the name of the ensemble — the "Unity" coat and dress — may have been a sign of support for her husband's message of unity for America. The color purple can also be seen as a sign of bipartisanship, as it combines Democrat blue and Republican red.

Biden also gave a platform to Cohen as a small business owner and the son of Mexican immigrants.

Shanghai Fashion Week Postponed | BoF - The Business of Fashion

Posted: 28 Jan 2021 11:42 PM PST

[unable to retrieve full-text content]Shanghai Fashion Week Postponed | BoF  The Business of Fashion

Next Post Here are some humble fashion opinions - The Vantage

Posted: 28 Jan 2021 07:38 AM PST

By Marie O'Neal, Staff Writer

Recently, my sweet friend, Sarah, asked me for some fashion tips so that she could match my "hipster aesthetic." (Her words, not mine).

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I'm not exactly the type of person who has any aesthetic and to think someone would consider me hipster... I was flattered. And  more than willing to give Sarah my *fashion* advice.

To give you all a little back story, I made the conscious decision to quit buying into the fast fashion industry about two years ago (haha, get it? Buying into). Anyway, besides a few very select articles of clothing, I haven't purchased anything from a retail store for about two years now, and that makes me pretty happy.

Now, I could give you all of the reasons why fast fashion contributes to climate change or how the people making those clothes are often exploited and work for very little, but I will save you that soapbox. I am only throwing it in as a segway to say: Thrift, Thrift, THRIFT!

And because I can't resist, I have to throw in a couple of reasons why thrifting is the coolest:

Not buying things that are new is really cool. Just think: Someone's grandpa could have worn your "new" favorite sweater, and maybe it was his favorite, too. You become connected to someone you've never met before.

You save so much money. I, a college senior, am balling on a budget, and love a great deal. (Who doesn't?)

You can rest guilt-free knowing you are not actively contributing to unethical realities that allow the fast fashion industry to thrive.

Here are my quick fashion tips (coming from a very underqualified/amateur fashionista) if you are also looking to express yourself through your clothing.

Layers. I feel like layering (especially high neck things under low neck things) is flattering.

Quit fast fashion, and try to experiment by using different items you already own. You really don't need to buy that much.

Don't feel like you have to find the coolest items of clothing. Wear things because you like them.

If you buy clothes, try online thrift stores like Poshmark, Thredup, or local thrift stores, and gently-used, second-hand stores.

Have three pairs of shoes that you rotate religiously so that they're very worn in, helping everyone know you've "been through it."

Don't be afraid to wear baggy/mom jeans and loose-fitting tops.

Don't wash your hair every day.

Don't buy something unless you really like it or have a vision for how you plan to wear it.

Don't be too afraid if it doesn't look super high in quality. We're in college.

I feel like a lot of my clothes are colors you can find in nature.

I like trying to mix cool textures/fabrics/patterns together—even if my mom thinks they don't match.

Don't be afraid to try to alter clothes yourself—cut it, hem it, and make it your own!

Don't limit yourself to a particular "vibe."On any particular day, I could give off a different type of style. There are many reasons why I pick out an outfit.

Wear what makes you feel happy, confident, and like sunshine (unless you don't want to feel like sunshine on a particular day. Then wear whatever reflects your current mood.)

If you take away nothing else from this article, and really, it's ok if you found nothing particularly useful, please remember that what you wear does not contribute to your inherent worth as a human, but it can be a fun way to show others your spicy personality.

PHOTO: Courtesy Photo, unsplash.com

How Fashion Can Relieve Us From the Burden of Visibility - Hyperallergic

Posted: 28 Jan 2021 07:00 AM PST

1.

Growing up as a teenage immigrant in the American South in the late 1970s, I was on the receiving ends of a lot of stares and "Where are you people from?" questions.  Once, when I was 14 and lost in front of a particularly alluring pair of shoes in a shop window in the mall, I felt my mom's hand at my elbow urging me away.  I thought it was her way of saying no to the shoes until I looked up and followed her line of gaze: An adult, white man was staring at me across the corner of the store, his neck strained forward through two panes of glass.  He did not see my mother watching him watching me. It was the kind of look that was at once concentrated and abstract, the thrust of it seemed to bore right through me to a point behind me, making me at once obdurate and transparent. 

A few years later, I will remember that look, when on the métro in Paris, I found another white man looking at me with the same kind of intense, blank stare that made me wish I was thousands of miles away. Back then, an older Parisian friend had cautioned care, explaining that there were French men who still thought Asian women were prostitutes. I remember being shocked by the bizarre assumption. What in the world? Since then, I have come to learn the deep histories of French colonial rule in "Indochine" and, in my adopted country, the prevailing 19th-century US American notion, at times even written into laws, about "pestilential Chinese prostitutes."  US masculine and militarized presence in Asia through the 20th -century spawned its own expansive racial-erotic imagination, stoking for over two centuries this sexual imagination about Asiatic femininity. Now, this association between Asian femininity and degraded availability in Western culture seems to me far from eccentric.

I was too naive then to suspect that such a gaze might have been sexual. I had thought that such looks must be filled with scorn or hate. Now, knowing that sexual desire does not preclude racial disdain, I recognize that those looks could have been, and mostly likely were, combinations of both.     

I hate how that mix of derision and desire still instills fear in me. Anger would be preferable. I grew up in America with most of the freedoms that my immigrant parents dreamed for me, but my American Dream would be punctuated at the edges by fleeting encounters that no longer surprised me but have never ceased to reach the pit of my stomach: strange white men who cooed, "Me love you a long time;" unsolicited reminiscences of men who were "once stationed in Vietnam or Korea;"  unwanted ni-hao-ma and the konichiwa when I walked down the street; coffee dates with myself interrupted by slips of notes that announced "I adore Asian women;" being told I was beautiful when I knew that was not what was meant.

Still from In the Mood for Love (2000) directed by Wong Kar Wai (image courtesy the Criterion Collection)

Years later, as a professor on my first day of teaching at a prestigious East Coast university, I was heading to my first lecture, armed with my syllabus and my game face, when a blond man, clearly an undergraduate, bumped hard into my shoulder with a breezy "Ni hao ma" tossed in his wake. My brain froze. Was this another one of those, or simply a student who had been taking Mandarin lessons? Confused, I walked on without saying a word.

2.

I have never been able to reconcile my deep discomfort with being seen by strangers with my love for clothes. How is it that someone who has been trained by the world that it is better not to be noticed can also be someone who enjoys sartorial play? Can I be a feminist and still love fashion? Can a woman of color participate in acts of beauty without self-harm? What is beauty for the unbeautiful? 

People always assume that women dress for others, as a gambit for attention — either for the admiring male gaze or the envious gaze of other women. And if a woman were to dress "just for herself," it must be a form of narcissism.  A woman with sartorial preoccupation must be either a hapless victim (prey to commodity culture and patriarchal expectations) or a cunning performer (someone who refashions herself at will). And when it comes to a woman of color, whose relationship to commodified sexuality is so fraught and historically compromised, it is especially difficult to talk about beauty and style without making her either self-objectifying or plain uppity. We can probably all safely debate the beauty of a thing — a flower or a painting — without too much heat, but when it comes to the beauty of a person, especially a woman of color, we are suddenly in a mine field of objectification, fetishization, and appropriation, at risk from others and from ourselves. 

A friend once noted that he thought the question that every woman must face is the question of beauty. Even if a woman ultimately decides to reject beauty, he said, it remains the question that every girl-becoming-woman must negotiate. I was not so sure a woman could reject beauty even if she wanted to, because the issue is not her response but the injunction implicit in the question.  But I took his point and asked what he thought the question would be for men. He thought about it and said, "probably the question of jobs, career, his money making potential." This all sounds old fashioned, yet probably true. 

In ancient Greece, the word for adornment, kosmos, means both "decoration" and "world order."  This is why the words cosmetics and cosmology share an etymological root. Presumably there was a time when the act of self-adornment was not seen as shallow or superficial but as originating from a desire to have the human body echo and be in tune with the invisible forces of the universe: the body as world and the world as body. In this view, the decorated human body itself serves as a carrier, a micrograph, of the visible world. The ornament of clothing, far from seen as inert or fake, expands the body's periphery, extending its connection to the world. We humans, especially women, have long lost that sense of undividedness from the world. 

Maybe that kind of connection was always but a human wish. But surely there is a time during human development when such at-oneness with the world might have existed. Psychoanalysts postulate what they call the "oceanic" or, rather aptly, the pre-mirror stage, when you do not yet see your own reflection as an other. 

For a woman, that moment could only be pre-womanhood, before a time when a girl has to think about "having a relationship" with her body. There's this story that my mother loves to tell about the time I went to my elementary school in Taipei not only out of uniform but also wearing the most garish outfit possible. That year my grandparents had returned from their annual trip to America and brought back for me the surprising gift, not of more dresses, but a pant suit. The top, in bright canary yellow, was made from some synthetic, heavily textured fabric that was in truth a little itchy but reminded me of a sea of bubbles. The shirt sported sharp button-down collars and came with a long, wide, bright orange tie. The shirt sleeves ballooned out extravagantly, like bells, only to cinch back in tightly at the wrist by a row of five, small, covered buttons. Then there was the bottom: a pair of front-seamed, bell-bottomed pants, in orange, of course.  

I had never seen anything so cool in all my life. I insisted on wearing it to school, even though it was picture day. My mother warned me she would not come get me at school or make excuses for me should I be sent home. I told her not to worry. To this day, my mother does not know, nor do I recall, what tale I had spun to get the teachers to allow it, but I have the photograph, terribly worn and faded, but I can make out two neat rows of Taiwanese kids in white and grey … and then, me, in my yellow and orange bell-bottom suit.

3.

I miss that girl, not because she enjoyed being seen but because she didn't care that she was. Her pleasure in that outfit was more felt than remembered. That suit was not an armor but an expansion. Imagine that: to be so at home in the world, so undivided from your own body, that what you wear is but an extension of being in the world

Maybe it is in nostalgia, or simply in compensation for that memory of lost plenitude that, as an adult, I am particularly drawn to clothes that are world making: sartorial constructions that seem to generate a world of their own, clothes so meticulously constructed that they seem capable of standing alone, sometimes even standing in for the human body.  I am thinking of those creations that are so saturated with narrative possibilities that the human wearer becomes their embellishment rather than the other way around: Kim Novak's severe, auratic grey suit in Vertigo, Maggie Cheung's architectural chipaos, Emma Peel's unflappable body suits, Iris Van Herpen's stark bone dress. 

These creations, though different in context, share one quality for me: an object-expressiveness, a thingliness so ontologically suggestive that it survives in the imagination, acquiring an inner life of its own beyond the women or characters sutured to them.

What seduces the eye and the mind here is not the fleshly female body per se but the allure of the supplemental becoming primary, of the inanimate that grows sensorial and gorgeous. It's not a coincidence that these sartorial revenants tip into the realm of costume: not because they are fantastical or artificial but because they amplify that unnerving gap between body and dress, person and persona, human and thing. 

Wearing these creations, one can be both more and less one's self. 

A woman can hide in that gap, a pocket of becoming.

Fashion has always teetered between the need for uniqueness and the demand for mass production, between art and market. In the early 20th century, the German philosopher Walter Benjamin uses the term "aura" to refer to the unique originality of a work of art, highlighting art's one-time presence in a specific time and space. Benjamin thought that we, in the 20th century, had lost the magic of aura because in an age of accelerated mechanical reproduction, art can be reproduced, bought, and exist anywhere, anytime, as a copy. But I wonder if a concept like glamor — as a conscious engagement of artifice and itself often a citation of other recognizable figures (like Lady Gaga reviving Madonna reviving Marilyn Monroe, and so on) — might hold out for us some possibilities for aura today? Unlike beauty which is often idealized, naturalized, and thought to be god-given (in spite of it being heavily socially, culturally, and racially determined), glamor is not apologetic about its artifice. Instead of deadening reproducibility or natural authenticity, glamor is all about the enchantment of synthetic malleability … and its potential for surviving in repetition.    

This is why the outfits above are both glamorous and auratic. While all of them can and have invited copies and imitations, each subsequent replica (and each subsequent wearer) can only fulfill these ensembles' most intense fantasies by harking back to some originary presence: a reproduction that allows you to inhabit, just a little, the auratic space of the original. Otherwise, a grey suit is just a grey suit. (In Hitchcock, Novak's Madeleine will herself turn out to be a spellbinding counterfeit, a copy of a lost, or perhaps never was, original.) These sartorial creations are thus imbued, not so much with beauty as with a specific and slightly de-centering flirtation with the dream of presence: an act of adornment that renders selfhood visible to the self.

I like to think of this kind of aesthetic pleasure, not as something that only invites consumption, but also as an experience that triggers a psychical transaction, one in which our sense of being a person transitions, deliciously and precariously, into our sense of being a thing, and vice versa.  The British cultural theorist Rachel Bowlby who writes smartly about the experience and history of shopping once described the checkout counter as a moment of anxiety, of de-transcendence, when you fall from the all potentials of hunting and gathering that is the pleasure of shopping into the reality of having to pay. I think of the moment of getting dressed, of the "check-out" moment in the closet, as a similar though much more potential-filled threshold moment: a moment of psychical exchange when you learn that you have given up a little of yourself in order to be a little of the thing you love, and in being that thing, you become a little more yourself. 

Of course that narrow room for play — that slippery moment between who you are and who you think you can be — is risky. There is both freedom and danger in sliding between being a person and being a thing, especially for a woman color who is always already made into an object (of desire, of use, of denigration). It is politically dicey to talk about the woman finding escape in being thing-like. But, sometimes, for those bodies made heavy by mainstream cultural fantasies, disappearing into synthetic self-extensions — that is, fashion — can provide a rare, counterintuitive, and temporary relief from the burdens of having bodies and their inevitable weighty visibility. Sometimes you cover yourself up in order to reveal more of yourself, and sometimes the covering relieves you from being you.

The unbeautiful (unbeautiful because different) tends to turn to the resources of glamor, because glamor, as a particular form of extravagant cloaking, has the potential to liberate women, not by providing a shield of desirability (because desirability also makes women vulnerable), but, rather, by offering them a temporary break from the burdens of "authentic personhood." I suspect women from Bette Davis to Josephine Baker to Stefani Germanotta know this well. 

4.

All of this may explain why I had such a moment of consternation — something between recognition and recoil — one day in the Metropolitan Museum of Art when I was confronted by this:

Li Xiaofeng, "Beijing Memory No. 5" (2009) Qing period shards; displayed at teh Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York (2015) (photo by the author)

This is Beauty, and this is Ugliness. This is femininity elevated to the status of (not-to-be-used) Art and debased to (used) Things. The placard says this dress was made by contemporary Chinese artist Li Xiaofeng who made it to be "wearable." But to wear this is to put on the weight and shape of another, already existing body, a body dreamed up by history, a body that is the residue of centuries of ideas about Asia, femininity, domesticity, the burdens and privileges of person-as-art/thing.     

Is this Chinese femininity or its arrested development? Armor or exposure? Winged victory or grounded flight? Devastation or recuperation? Antiquing or dumpster diving?

Maybe this woman-thing is bearing a form of witness, testifying to the continuities belied by these oppositions. Maybe this is Chinese femininity on display for and in the West, a stranded but still-standing shell that bears the fractures of its making. 

Maybe this is what survival looks like.

5.

My daughter turned 18 this year. As she grows into young adulthood, I started to write reminder lists for myself. One such list is: "Things Never To Do to My Daughter when I am Old."  Another is: "Things I Want to Tell My Daughter but Can't." I have not told her, for instance, that in the hospital when she was born, holding such love in my arms, I thought that if I were to die in her arms one day, I would be content. I have not told her this because it is terribly morbid and selfish. For similar reasons, I have also not been able to bring myself to tell her about the kind of gaze and encounters that I confessed here. It's not only that I think certain life experiences cannot be passed on; it's also that I am always struggling between preparing my kids for the real world and protecting them from its toxicities.

My daughter grew up with love and privilege. Her childhood was spent in a small but cosmopolitan town. Her preschool class of 12 had only one monoracial child, and he was a Swedish national. Whereas my grade school history book in Georgia devoted its chapter on the Civil War primarily to the invention of the cotton gin, my daughter at age six was already explaining the word "segregation" to her younger brother. When both marveled together at what seemed to them an unimaginable universe where such inequality could exist, I realized how better educated they are about American racial history, but also how, by being habituated to the virtues of diversity, they remain innocent about the still brutal realities of racism.   

I imagine (or maybe just hope) that, so far at least, my daughter has yet to experience a world in which she does not belong. She grew up with an ease with the world that has allowed her to be a loving, demonstrative child who also has always been able to walk into new daycares and elementary schools alone without a backward glance. 

Do I want to puncture that ease? Hadn't I in fact worked hard to give her this refuge? Do I want to contaminate her world prematurely by telling her that there are people who would despise her just because of who her parents are, or because of the way she looks? Do I want to tell her the queasy fact that derision can wear the face of desire? Am I being irresponsible or cowardly by not telling her? Or are such warnings pointless because no amount of being told something like this can approximate the unexpected violence of such experience?

Did I not dream of a world where she is not divided from her own body?

6.

My daughter was born on Mischief Night, the night before Halloween. So October is always a big month for us. In anticipation, every August (because I know, come September, my time would be swallowed up by the new teaching semester), my kids and I gather to discuss and plan their Halloween costumes. I treasure these planning sessions because it's our project and because I get glimpses into how they see themselves. I think children love dress-up, not for disguise or escape, the way it often is for adults, but because it is an exercise in possibility, a rehearsal for what they could be or imagine they already are. Pretty soon into this annual ritual my daughter was helping out and then taking over the sewing: a fine-boned Victorian gown after she read Pride and Prejudice; a demon-slayer from some animé who carried a life size boomerang that she crafted out of paper maché; a mythic warrior wielding a mask of Medusa.

Unlike me, my daughter as a seamstress is not limited by readymade patterns or even by materials. She thinks anything is possible. This year she wanted to make a costume in spite of the pandemic and the quarantine. After reading the Arthurian legend, she decided to reimagine what Uther Pendragon would have been like had he been a woman. I found her at the kitchen table making a list of her own: bevor, cuirass, rerebrace, plackart, pauldron, gauntlet, cuisse, greaves, sabatons … a litany of armorial bearings. She bound her body with rolls of duct tape, making a mummy of herself, on top of which she drew the segmented suit.  She then cut herself out of that second skin, pieces of which became the base patterns for the armor that she fashioned out of foam boards, cloth, and pieces of plastic she found in her dad's workshop that she heated up and molded.  

Weeks after Halloween, I found in the corner of her room the abandoned duct-tape shells, discarded, hollow, yet still holding the shape of her slim torso, arms, and legs. I thought about her going off to college next year, which means leaving behind the shelter of love that so far had been hers for the taking. I thought about the beauty of new shells and the emergence of new vulnerabilities. She will soon have to see, or may already be seeing, her body as a thing-in-the-world. And I thought about how the word "blazon," coming from the French for "coat-of-arms" or "shield," offers a description of a coat of arms, a legacy of heraldry, but how, in literature, it alludes to a type of poem, a poetic device in which the (usually female) body is dissected and catalogued. And I hope fervently, against all that I know, that she will continue to fashion for herself all that is possible in a broken world.

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